Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our responsibilities that it is easy to take for granted the people we care about most in our lives. It is just because we are so close that we sometimes forget we need to maintain the relationship. Of course those closest to us are the most forgiving so it is easy to move plans, fall out of touch, be distant and so on because we have the security in knowing the depths of these relationships can withstand passing dalliances. But we must take care, because spending too much time putting these close ones aside can lead to permanent damage if we are not careful. We must keep our time in check and balance our responsibilities and this is true especially in relationships. In order to avoid pushing loved ones away here are four small things you can do to reinvigorate your friendships and love relationships.
Be Present
Of course this is easier said than done, but if you have been practicing our mindfulness exercises you will know that one of the most valuable things you can do for any of your relationships is simply to be present when interacting with that person. Put away your phone, turn off the TV, simply be with each other. Once here you will begin to notice the little things that might have been the spark that started your relationship to begin with. Every time you spend time together try to give yourselves at least 20 minutes of mindful presence with each other.
Communicate Throughout the Day
Just because you will see each other at the end of the work day or at another scheduled time does not mean you have to be in radio silence until then. A funny meme or just a “hi” text can help your partner feel important and appreciated. Sometimes we can have a tendency of either feeling like we are being needy or a bother so we protect ourselves by not showing this type of attention. Maybe even we are trying to prove who is the stronger one in the relationship but ultimately behaviors like this are defeating, serve no one and leave both parties feeling lonely and unloved. So go ahead and make the first move of a sweet or funny message in the middle of the work day!
Take Turns
Another common complaint is that one person in a relationship feels like they are always the one doing all the work. They are the ones doing errands or chores or scheduling dates or finding things to do etc. etc. If you or your partner feel this way the easiest thing to do is to take turns. Simply say it is your turn to cook or do dishes or pick the date spot. The trick here is to do these things with gusto. If you are the one that is accused of not putting in effort, put in real effort here, don't just half do the task or say you'll do it later. Do it well and promptly and your reward will be the better mood of your partner. If you are the one that always feels like they are the one making the decisions though, then respect the choices of your partner. Don't second guess or undermine their choice or the exercise will not work in lessening the load or improving the relationship.
Have a Hobby Together
Often we have so little free time so when we carve out time for hobbies, this can even further limit time with a partner. While alone time is important as well, try to find a hobby you two can share. If you don't already have a shared interest you can try something new together. The adventure of starting something new is always a good time, even if you hate it. You can go to the worst paint and sip class or goat yoga and while you absolutely hate it, in the end you will have a bonding experience and something to laugh about later. The important thing is to do something together.
Compliment Each Other
Though this one sounds like one only for love interests, I can personally tell you it is important in friendships as well. We all like being told when we are doing a good job or looking nice, from both love interests and friends. Normalize platonic compliments in both relationships, not all compliments have to be sexually charged. As we get close to one other we tend to forget to vocalize how much we appreciate each other, but at the same time don't make disingenuous compliments. As we get close we can also sense when each other is being less than honest. Give it time, and the next time you are admiring something about your loved one in your head, vocalize it.
Relationships are the core of what gives life meaning, yet they seem to be the thing we neglect the most. In our uphill race trying to be the most successful, attractive, informed, healthy version of ourselves we can be, we accept the support and love that relationships give us at a subconscious level but easily forget to make conscious effort to maintain these relationships. It may feel like one more task on an infinite to-do list of self help, but love and friendship is what supports you when everything else is gone. Take the time and the effort to honor these important people in your life. Reach out to us at info@bullionite.com with your comments and questions.