We all value our personal relationships in our lives, but sometimes how we show each other we value one another differs from the expectations we have. Perhaps you have noticed this in your current relationship or relationships in your past where you are hoping for some token of love be it physical, emotional or otherwise and receive something that while you know is meaningful, doesn't mean much to you. This is because you and your partner have different love languages. The concept of love languages is not new, though this exact phrase is a more recent phenomena. In the current thought, love language is divided into five categories: acts of service, gift giving, words of affirmation, physical touch and quality time. Of course all of us want all of these categories in our love lives and indeed, need all of these categories in order to feel loved and appreciated, but we all have certain areas that we care more about than others. These areas can change as we age and our lifestyles change and even with which partner we are with. For example, perhaps you really loved gifts in your early 20s but now in your 40s with children, you really appreciate acts of service to help ease your workload. In our efforts this month to help build stronger relationships, take this quiz with anyone you care about, your spouse, friend or child and learn what yours and their primary love languages are. With this knowledge you will know better how to express your love for one another.
Quiz
I feel MOST loved when:
a- A loved one hugs me
b- A loved one listens to me
c- A loved one helps me with chores
d- A loved one tells me how much I mean to them
e- A loved one gives me an unexpected gift
An idea present on a holiday would be:
a- A night out or physical activity with a loved one
b- Anything I want to do as long as I get full attention
c- Something meaningful and homemade and a day off from obligations
d- A thoughtful card/video or speech from a loved one about how much I mean to them
e- A well thought out and meaningful gift
When someone you love is going through a hard time your first instinct is to:
a- Hold the person for a long time
b- Give them your full attention while they vent.
c- Take over their chores or errands for the week so they have more time to work on their issue
d- Tell them how important they are to you
e- Give them a small token of appreciation
After a long day at work your best way to relax is:
a- Spend time cuddling or close to a loved one
b- Spend time having a deep conversation with a loved one
c- Relax while a loved one makes dinner
d- Be told how appreciated you are
e- An unexpected present
Nothing says “I love you” more than:
a- Physical Touch
b- Deep Conversation
c- A Helping Hand
d- Being Complimented
e- A Thoughtful Gift
How would you build a friend's confidence?
a- Give them a hug or squeeze and eye contact before they set out on their task
b- Provide them a sounding board before their big day
c- Workshop their idea and help improve it
d- Tell them how confident you are in them
e- Give them a lucky charm before they set out on their day
When I was a child I felt closest to my parents when:
a- We did an activity together
b- We had meaningful conversation
c- We accomplished tasks together
d- My parents told me how proud they were of me
e- My parents gave me a present
What do you value most in people:
a- Affectionate personality
b- Conversation
c- Helpfulness
d- Praise
e- Gift Giving
If you could tell your loved one one thing you can't live without it would be:
a- When you hold my hand in public I feel loved
b- When you listen to me and make eye contact I feel loved
c- When you help me with my chores I feel loved
d- When you tell me you are proud of me I feel loved
e- When you give me a present I feel loved
When you feel down, what cheers you up the most?
a- A night out dancing with friends
b- An intimate dinner where I get attention
c- A night off from obligations so I can go to a spa
d- A dinner with friends where I am congratulated
e- An extravagant present
Now tally up all your scores and see where you stand! If you answered mostly a's your love language is physical touch, b's quality time, c's acts of service, d's affirmations, e's gift giving. Tally up the scores of your loved ones too and see where they differ or are similar to you. Armed with this knowledge you both can now present more meaningful acts of love for one another. Perhaps you were making dinner every night your partner felt down but what they really wanted was to be held by you or perhaps your partner gives you gifts all the time and you didn't quite get it but now they know to tell you how much they care about you. We all need all five of these aspects, but one will surely stand above the rest as the one that is most important to us. Remember that these languages can shift with age and major life milestones so be sure to check in with your partner often, especially if things feel off.
What is your love language and how do you like love expressed to you? Reach out to us at info@bullionite.com with your questions or comments.