For our final article on the facets of wellness we will be focusing on social wellness. Social wellness is a huge category. Some other writers have divided this wellness into several; such as social, sex, and family wellness. While I do think this is useful, especially if social wellness is the one you struggle with the most, the same strategies can be used with all of these aspects since they essentially deal with how we relate to other people. It can be easy to allow sex or blood relation muddy the water on how you deal with someone, but remember these are all social relationships. For the sake of our article we are going to define social wellness as how we interact with others including building healthy and supportive relationships and having genuine concern for those around you. Social wellness basically means having a strong network of people around you that you can count on. This doesn't happen overnight, but through years of building strong foundations with people around you. Of course in the modern era, this can be even more difficult. It seems with every promotion or new job we often need to change cities and even states. No one really spends that much time proximally close to one another. Even if we do, long work hours can make it difficult to find time to spend with them even when we are geographically close. Oftentimes, we lose contact with people we really enjoy, simply because we do not dedicate the time to see them.
The good news is, that as long as you already have the toolkit to build successful relationships, it is easy to rekindle old friendships and find new ones. Now, we all form relationships in different ways; for me I tend to have less quantity and more long term quality. I tend to make friends slowly and it can take several years for me to feel comfortable enough to be completely open with a friend. Luckily, I have been able to hold onto many relationships over the years despite distance and other factors contributing to the loss of friendship. Because my schedule is a little challenging, I rely on the phone and long winded text and voice messages. We all used to talk on the phone but a lot of time zones and new growing family needs have caused us to resort to long text messages. These of course are not perfect and we could probably use some help in our social wellness, but at least we are trying. I am sure this example is very similar for a lot of us reading this article. While we all by now have a judgment on our social wellness. Rate the below statements on a scale from 1 to 4, 1 never, 2 not so often, 3 sometimes, 4 always.
1- I am aware and try to improve my behavior and words that have caused issues in relationships in the past for me.
2- I feel like I have a strong network of people to turn to.
3- I try to be understanding with my friends and provide them support.
4- I don't flake on plans.
5- I consider my actions and listen when I am told my actions are hurtful.
6- In romantic relationships I choose partners who respect me and my needs and choices.
7- I know how to communicate my emotions to others.
8- I participate in social activities and am open to forming new relationships.
Tally your points, if you score under 24, it looks like you may need some help in your social wellness! Now is a good point to bring up why social wellness is so necessary. Especially for those of us who are dedicated to our work and career, socializing may seem like quite a frivolous activity. Yet it is important to remember that humans are social beings. Without proper socialization we suffer immensely, I am sure with the recent quarantine even the most introverted amongst us have felt the tinge of loneliness and sadness from the lack of socializing. If you felt heart broken, it isn't just in your mind. Isolation brings similar health risks comparably to obesity, high blood pressure and even tobacco use. With strong social networks, not only do our endocrine systems work better, but so does our cardiovascular systems. You literally can get sick or even die from a broken heart caused by isolation.
So even if it feels insignificant, healthy socializing is integral to your wellness, but how do we fix a lagging social wellness? First step is to reach out to your current network. Apologize for aloofness and start creating dates and meetings, whether virtual or in person, to spend with each other. Once you make these dates, treat them with the same importance as any of your other obligations from work. Honor that time! If you have recently moved and want to have in person connections, consider joining a class or workout in something that you enjoy. Adult kickball and softball teams are also a great way to meet people! If all else fails you can use online meetups and find your group that way. Once you arrive at the place, be kind and considerate and have a good attitude. We are all vulnerable and making friends as an adult can be hard, so be patient and kind. If the problem is how you relate to people, start working on yourself. Identify your toxic traits and make a list along with how you plan to stop these traits. Do not be afraid to talk yourself through or down situations. Our emotional reactions are learned behaviors and often are in place to try to protect ourselves, so sometimes the mind can be hard at letting go. Do not be afraid to reach out for professional help via therapy if you feel the problem is something larger than you can handle. Remember, you first need to accept and love yourself in order to be a good friend and partner.
How do you try to connect and stay in contact with those you love? Contact us with your comments and questions at info@bullionite.com