Four Tips to Improve Empathy
October is such a magical time of year. The seasons are changing, it is getting dark earlier, it always feels like to me the beginning of the exciting holiday season as cultures all over the world start celebrating their light festivals and new year's festivities. But, the beginning of this period can also be triggering for some people as the absence of light and the beginning of the holidays can bring on seasonal depression and other mental ailments. Because of this, October is Emotional Wellness Awareness Month. During the month of October and really throughout the holiday season, we encourage you to be aware of the struggles others are going through as well as your own struggles in your daily interactions.
What is emotional wellness? Well, we wrote an entire article on emotional wellness here in our 7 facets of wellness series, but to review, your emotional wellness is our ability to process emotions and emotional triggers in healthy ways. Though it may seem like not such an essential part of your wellness in comparison to physical exercise and eating healthy, if you have ever had an episode of extreme emotional upheaval such as a tragedy strike you, you quickly become aware of how important your emotional wellness is. Of course the ideal thing is to have the tools in place prior to having an emotional upheaval so you can handle these issues properly, but this is not always the case. Sometimes we are raised in a way that we repress our emotions and come into adulthood unable to express our feelings in healthy ways. Sometimes we are simply challenged in our emotional wellness due to mental illness that even with therapy and medication, is still difficult to control. There are many reasons why we and the people around us can lack emotional wellness. So if you are one that feels able to access your emotions well, your next step is to always have the empathy and patience for those around you that may be suffering silently. In honor of Emotional Wellness Month, here are 4 tips to improve your empathy for others around you.
1- Nothing is Personal
When dealing with coworkers, clients or new people we just never know what we are walking into. The longer you work with people the more you start to experience just about everything and regardless of how cool headed you try to be, something may provoke you. When you feel yourself being provoked to negative emotions by someone, remember this, that nothing is personal. How people are acting that day has only a small amount to do with you and is mostly how they are feeling about themselves and their own personal issues of that day. Something you said or did may have provoked them but if the reaction feels over the top, likely it is because they are battling something else and it has nothing to do with you. Give yourself a couple deep breaths, even leave the room, to find your center and remind yourself that this is a reflection of them, not you.
2- Exercise Listening
Most disagreements come from people assuming they already know what the other one is going to say and reacting off of these assumptions instead of listening to what is actually happening. Be sure that you are being an active listener. If you find yourself losing patience or starting to check messages or emails while the person is speaking, stop yourself and bring yourself back into the present moment and actively engage in the conversation.
3- Ask Questions in lieu of Stating Statements
If you find yourself again and again having the same issues with one person at the office it might be time to start a dialog. Come to them with an open mind and ask them humbly if everything is ok. Likely, this will shock them and they might even be dismissive or defensive at first so it is important not to slip into your own defense mechanisms and simply let yourself be vulnerable. It may help to have HR facilitate the meeting if you feel like the situation could be too tense for you to handle alone.
4- Get Enough Sleep
This seems to be on every list we write, but it is true. The best way to maintain your emotional wellness as well as be able to be an active listener, have patience and be present in the current moment, is to get enough sleep every night. Treat sleep like it is a top priority in your day. It is easy in this hustle and bustle culture we are often told to sleep when we are dead or to work harder to make your dreams come true and while it is important to put the effort in each and every single day, part of that effort is to get enough sleep. You can not expect your car to run without gas and oil just as you can not expect your body and mind to function at optimal levels without sleep.
During this month and throughout the holiday season remember that everyone has their own private battles they are fighting. We all have good and bad days and many of us are suffering silently from mental illnesses that we are controlling as best we can. Use compassion and empathy in your interactions and you will see your world turn into a kinder place. Do you have comments or questions? Reach out to us at info@bullionite.com